Deployments NOT Deplayments

OK, sorry, but I had to do it.  Hopefully I won't get in trouble for using "Deplayments" because I have no idea if the word is trademarked or not.  Let's pray that it's not.  (There is a program in the AF using the word "Deplayment"

In all honesty, I have no idea how to start off this post.  I don't want to come off sounding like a Debbie Downer while writting about a deployment.  Yet, at some points, I probably will. 

So, my deployment experience started back in December.  11 December 2010 to be exact.  It was one of the most bittersweet days of my life.  1.  It's my birthday, 2.  My husband's UDM told me about the deployment.  Not my husband.  And my husband asked her not to tell me. (I was one of the secretaries in the Command Section last December).  This was not the way for a 20-something week pregnant woman to find out something so big.  So naturally, I cried at work.  I called Jack and told him to come to my desk and I cried.  I can't even tell you everything I felt in those 5 minutes.  Sadness.  Anxiety.  Fear.  Hopeless.  Loneliness.  And so much more.  When you get told your husband/boyfriend/fiance is leaving for 6 (or a 12) month deployment outside the U.S..  Not something that gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling. 

Fast forward a few months later:  We found out that Jack had 3 different trainings he had to attend before he left.  Also, these trainings had to be completed right before he left...not really spaced out.  Did I mention Lincoln was due (not born) in May?  Did I mention his original date for deployment was in the beginning of July?  Well.  More cause for a freak out (my part of course).  What in the world was I going to do?  The dates for the trainings fell on Lincoln's due date.  My mind was racing.  THANKFULLY,  deployments sometimes get pushed back.  And this one, well, it did!  Jack was gone for a 1.5 before actually leaving.  Did I survive?  Yes.  Thankfully because of my mom and my mother-in-law.  Having a newborn and being by yourself is scary and a bit overwhelming.  But I was so thankful for the support from family and friends.  I could not have done it with out them.  Not at all. 

And suddenly, it's D-Day.  Really?  It's here already?  Wow.  August came too quickly.  Every night I made Jack promise me he would be safe.  I know it's not something he could have truly promised but it made me feel better to hear him say it back to me.  That last night was one of the most sad and touching experiences ever.  Jack and I spent the morning together.  We got breakfast tacos.  Watched a movie and talked.  We got Lincoln from the CDC, walked the dogs and had a nice peaceful day.  We fed Lincoln, gave him a bath, and Jack started reading him a book.  We both broke down at that point (It's still hard for me to think about it now).  We went to bed and woke up at around 3 am the next day.  We drove to the building where the taxi was waiting.  I kept it together until it was time for him to leave.  He gave Lincoln a hug and a kiss, went off to give everyone else a hug or a handshake goodbye and saved me for last.  I started crying immediately.  I can't even tell you what Jack told me while we were hugging.   I was a wreck at that point.  I'm pretty sure Sandra took hold of me when Jack walked away because all I remember was stretching my arm out to him as he walked towards the cab. 

I didn't cry long after the cab left.  Mainly because Aisha and Sandra were cracking jokes to make me laugh.  Sandra drove with me back to the house, Aisha followed closely behind.  They made sure I was settled in and I fed Lincoln (who was slept through everything) and put him back down.  Aisha stayed the night to make sure I was okay and didn't need anything and I was told to take the day off and take Lincoln to the CDC after I woke up.  That first day is still a blur.  I didn't get out of my pajamas.  I didn't brush my hair.  But I promise I brushed my teeth.  Aisha brought me lunch (she is such a saint and a great friend)  and it was nice.  The dogs could tell something was off and so could Lincoln.  It was a rough 2 days.  Thankfully my mom came for the rest of the week to help and keep me company. 

I am so thankful for family.  I have no idea what I would have done without my mom or Kathy.  Such amazing women that well willing to come to Altus and help out for a week at a time.  I am also thankful for friends that came to help out (Aisha, Liz, Kimvy and Michelle, JanRay and Odie) when I needed.  I am also thankful I had so many events to look forward to the next few weeks.  Labor Day, Sam and Jeff's wedding, and of course, Winesday. 

Some days were really sad but each day I got stronger.  Honestly.  I was the type of person that couldn't stand being alone and that is something I had to face head-on these past 3 months.  I was also the person that would leave items lying around everywhere and anywhere.  I've changed.  Everything has a place.  Put it up when you're done and you won't have to deal with it later.  Say what...?  Apparently people grow during deployments.  Which is a good thing.  I rediscovered old hobbies (hello scrapbooking and running--well, that one didn't last long) and realized I can go to the grocery store with Lincoln all by myself and be okay.  I also discovered that I have to love the dogs enough for two people.  This one is hard and it's still a work in process (more on this later.  Promise, promise).   I learned to budget, spend less and save more.  And did I mention that I learned how important friends are during this time?  Friends are why Winesdays were created.  Winesday is Wednesday.  We drink wine, eat and talk.  Perfect evening.  In the end (or almost the end), I learned I can do this on my own but I don't want to.  It is nice to have someone to talk to.  To make dinner with.  To laugh with.  NowI do a lot of this with Lincoln and the dogs but I am the one creating their answers to my questions and they are the ones laughing at my jokes or crazy noises. 

So see?  Deployments are hard.  But they are bearable.  And get easier day by day.  Also, I suggest taking a trip.  Especially if you have a mini me (or mini Jack in our case).  Now, I know this sounds crazy but I swear this gets you out of your comfort zone and give you a confidence you didn't know was there.  When I travel with Lincoln, it's usually a piece of cake now.

And now, it's the end.  Well nearly.  Jack left 3 months early and I'm sooooooooooooooooooo happy about his.  Once he gets back we get 2 WEEKS as a family together.  Thank you AF! And he'll be able to take a considerable about of leave after the 2 weeks of R&R.  As a first experience, it was a good one.  It was not a full deployment but I can't really complain (but sometimes I'll send Jack an email saying I wish you were home now--and then he reminds me that we should be thankful we get him back 3 months early.  Touche Jack.  Touche.)  And I'm glad he's almost home.  So close I can almost reach out and squish him. 

Get ready for the homecoming.  It's gonna be a big event doll faces.

xxoo
kbr

And we're baaaaccccckkkk

To Altus that is.  Most of the time I wish our Duty Station was somewhere fabulous, like Aviano (I would die), Colorado, Hawaii, Ramstein, or Japan.  But today I am thankful that home is Altus, Ok. 

Our drive from Dallas to Altus was so perfect and I couldn't have asked for better.   We drove back into town at 1200--leaving Dallas at 0800 and stopping 20 miles away from Wichita Falls for a feeding for 45 minutes--we made great time.  And I to answer everyone's question...NO, I did not speed.  I have a baby in the car.  I would never do that.  Unless you count going over by 3 miles speeding.  But honestly, cruise control is my BFF.  

When we got home we were relieved, tired and ready to tackle the chaos luggage in the car.  Actually that is my least favorite part of traveling.  Taking out and putting up the luggage.  Putting anything up in general is not something I enjoy.  Ask Husband--he'll tell you the honest truth.  It's a miracle I came of this deployment becoming someone that now puts items "away" not just "up."  Excuse me?  Totally not the person I was.  I was just a naturally messy person.  One of my downfalls, but hey!  No one is perfect..  Except God.  And math.  Ugh, math and accounting.  2 things I dislike more than putting up luggage. 

I digress. 

After we got inside our humble abode, I put Lincoln down for some tummy time (I would have made him practice his sitting--he's totally still a wievel wobble man--but I had to fold and I did not have the proper amount of blankets on the floor.  Oh the joys of having paper imitation wood floors) and realized we had some treasures waiting for us!  I had an early birthday present from my wonderul mother/father-in-law.  And....Lincoln's photos!!!!  (Oh, and the rest of Jack's packages came home too--the end is in sight people!!!)

My birthday presents were accessories for the B.O.B!  The accessories are amazing (weather blocker and the sun/wind blocker) and very much needed/appreciated!  And of course, there were goodies thrown in for Lincoln.  So sweet to think of sweet Linc.  

And the pictures of Lincoln.  Julia (as always) did a fantastic job.  I wish I had a fourth of the talent this lady has.  Seriously.  All the pictures: Adorable.  Perfect.  Stunning.  Cute.  Whimsical.  I can't even choose a word.  What I love most is that Julia chooses natural settings, has you bring your own props--I'm weird about that anyway--and makes everything as genuine as possible.  Love that lady!

Now a Drummmm roll please.....(pprrrmmmm prrrmm da da dum).   Here is what you all have been so patiently waiting for:  Little Lincoln.  Sweet as a pumpkin with cinnamon and sugar. So lucky we have him!  I could kiss and pinch those squirrel cheeks all day long!  Pretty much, I do.  If only I had a dollar for everytime I have...we would be millionares. 

Ahhh...

Okay, okay.  Pictures it is:

He is so much fun!

Love this baby face.

Melts my heart

So Much to Catch Up On!

It's been nearly a month since the last blog post.  Sorry, I'm not sorry--we've (I?  Lincoln gets to look adorable and relax all day) been extremely busy. 

My lovely co-worker (from my now former job) was out on a very well deserved holiday for 3 weeks and it was busy, busy, busy for me and BJ.  Let me tell you how much I appreciate Gracie: All the way to the moon.  And back...I am extremely blessed to have her and a friend and was blessed to have her as a co-worker!  Love you sugar.  Plus, she's southern and she just gets it. 

We also had Lincoln's 6 month's photographs taken!  Can you believe it has been 6 months since 24 April?  Dear Sweet Baby Ray's.   6 month's since he was this small.  Our peanut is now 17 lbs and over 23 inches long.  He's come such a long way.  And he's finally getting teef-ers!  I see them barely poking through and seem kinda stuck there.  I am sure they are growing but I try to look at them every day so it seems like nothing is happening.  I'm impatient yet don't want him to grow up. 

Our preshy kidd-O



....I digressed....back to Lincoln's photographs.  The ever lovely Ms. Julia Raymond took his photographs and she is just beyond talented.  Such a sweet, bright and intellengent young lady.  She also just had a birthday a few days ago, happy birthday Julia! 

Again, I digress.  Anyway, we went to the Wichita Falls Nature Preserve and took pictures in the Pumpkin Patches, behind an antique general store and in a covered wagon.  So stinking cute.  So, if you live in (or near Wichita Falls) please give Julia a call for photos (family, maternity, ect)--she truly is a gem.  And I don't get anything for referring her.  She is just a good friend that happens to be very talented with a camera. 

Then, Lincoln and I decided to make a trip out to Dallas (well, my sissy WAS coming into town town and it WAS my Godson's birthday after all!).  After my last week at work we hung out and vegged out (okay, Lincoln vegged out, I cleaned and organized) for a few days and then we headed towards Dallas.  Now, the drive to Dallas usually takes 3.5 hours.  When we drive with Licnoln about 4.  Well...this last time it took us 5 hours!  Why, do you ask?   Let me start off by telling you how Linc likes to drink his bottle.  Lincoln likes his bottle to be very warm and to have me hold him while rocking in the rocking chair.  My fault? Yes.  Do I dislike it?  Only when we travel or want to go out to eat.  So, ooor little man was hungry but refusing to eat because it wasn't what he was used to.   Frustrating but we made it in one piece.  Which was the point, right?  We are still in Dallas (the original plan was to leave to Monday but with all the storms in Altus and Dallas we decided to stay an extra 2 days) and enjoying spending time with the family!

Speaking of family...guess what: Husband is finally coming home soon!  He's been deployed for 3 months (4.5 if  you count all the pre-deployment trainings).  Deployments are tough.  But do-able. I won't get much into it here because I'll write a post about my experience with deployments.  But yes, I am just so happy I could burst!  Being sans Husband is not fun and I just really want to give him a big squeeze.  Can't help it, being away from the one you love is not cool.  At all. 

But now that means I have to start planning good food menus from now on...

All I have to say to that is thank goodness for pinterest!  Maybe I'll make him something bacon-y...mmmmn

Being a non-sweatpant wearing stay-at-home momma!

So that is our family's big news!  I'm going to be stay at home hip momma!  And I somelnmly swear I will never be a sweat pant wearing mom.  I promise.  I mean, it's just not for me and I already did that when I first got here (minus the baby/mom job).  Going to Wal-Mart in your PJs is never a good thing.  Seriously. 

But that aside, I'm excited!  Excited, excited, excited!!!  Right now our schedule is pretty filled up from the time we get home to the time I put Lincoln to bed.  I leave work at 4:30 and arrive at the CDC at 4:31, get home at 5:00 (I like to chit-chat with his teachers) and then get ready for our run (don't judge, I have to work out, husband is deployed and I gained my baby weight BACK right before Jack left.  So seriously, don't judge.) and come back after 2-3 miles.  Then it's time for a litle play time (about 15-20 minutes), bottle, bath, baby massage, books, prayers and bed.  It's not enough time for me.  There were a few other factors in our decision but the main one was time.  Now I'll be able to have full days with Lincoln and I'll also be able to make him yummy baby food.  I am very grateful that I am able to do this.  I know I would regret it if I weren't able to stay home.  As much as will will miss work and my work friends...I miss Lincoln more.  He is the sweetest ball of sunshine I have ever laid my eyes on and is hilarious as they come!  So...in 2 weeks (eekkkk!) I will officially be a stay at home mom.  I am beyond elated and can not wait to be with our nugget full time.  Sans  the sweat pants!

xxoo, kbr

sweet baby.  i can't believe he is 5 months in this picture!

Lincoln's first taste of FOOD!

This weekend was a pretty quiet one.  My mom came to Altus for the weekend, Lincoln and I got to Skype with Jack, the usual.  But the major event of the weekend happened on Sunday (18 Sep 11): Lincoln had food for the first time! Wahoo!!! I had been putting off giving Lincoln food because, well...I'm a sappy and sentimental mom.  I literally thought that once I started to give him food he would officially become a "big boy" and not need me.  Crazy right?  While Jack, on the other hand, has been pro-food since Lincoln's birth (well, let me restate that: has been pro-food for Lincoln at age 4 months since birth).   When we talked on Sunday he finally convinced me to give Lincoln a taste of what he had been "missing" for the last 4-ish weeks.  And Linc LOVED the avacado.  Oh my goodness!  I don't think I've see our baby smile and laugh so much!  He couldn't stop giggling, kept opening his mouth for more.  He didn't "eat" really--it was more of "gumming" (sucking) on the spoon.  Either way, he loved it and has not stopped love it!  Tomorrow he will get to have some butternut squash and I'm excited (who would have thought!).  Oh!  And in a few weeks I'll be announcing something very exciting!!! Now, don't go off starting rumors--it's no baby--but Jack and I are very happy with this choice...more to come later!  And of course, I'll leave you all with pictures:

Love that baby smile!

Avacado flavored kisses for my mami y papi!

Yum Yum

That's enough now! Byyyye!

Labor Day Weekend/O-H-I-O!

Lincoln and I were quite the jet setters 2 weeks ago for Labor Day Weekend.   We decided to road trip it to Dallas (our first road trip alone) and it was actually a very good ride!  Usually, it takes me 3.5 to get to Dallas and with little Linc in the back we got there in 4, wahoo!  2.5 hours in we stopped in Decatur to feed him and then we were back on our merry to Dallas.  We arrived at 1200 in full swing and ready for the weekend!  It was GREAT to be back in civilization.  Especially coming from Altus, you learn to appreciate everything in your life.  It's nice to have a Super Target instead of a Walmart down the road.  And a Whole Foods...mmmm, Whole Foods! 

But anyways, we did have an amazing weekend.  We got to be with family (Lincoln met his cousins-Bella, Ike, and Nate) and with friends (Alicia/Jessica)!  Also, we had a another first for Lincoln: The Mall!  On Sunday we went to North Park Center and walked around.  Linc could not have been more memezmorized by all the people walking around--he had never seen so many people in one place! Later that night we got hang out with Auntie Weesha (Alicia).  We cudding (her and Linc) and played and then to go get Sushi! I have missed eating Sushi.  It was my first time since I found out I was pregrant (which was a year ago!).  YUM, yum, yum!



I'm a FOX!



Tia Jessica and Lincoln





Then on Monday, we had a play date with Jessica and Ashlynn.  I couldn't believe how much she had grown.  I remember when Ash was just born...time seems to go by so much faster now that we are older.  I had so much fun visiting with them and seeing Jess love and cuddle on Linc!  Spending time with my good friend was a great way to end my weekend in Dallas.  I wish we could have stayed longer but we had to fly off to O-H-I-O!

Linc and I flew to Ohio on Thursday (we got back to Altus from Dallas on Tuesday.  Surprisingly, he was very well behaved on the plane rides.  And we had very few problems.  There was one rude lady but Lincoln was extremely polite to her and decided not to cry on the plane.  Lucky her!  Seriously, you see a mom along with a baby and you have the gall to say "Great.  There are puppies AND babies on this flight now. (then turns to me--she was in the row in front of us) I hope he stays asleep for the flight" and then turns around...RUDE.  I should have just gone Bon Qui Qui on her.  Well, not really.  I just couldn't get "crazy" like her and I don't think "sa-cuur=ity" would have listened!

But aside from her everything went very smoothly!  We landed, met cousins, aunts and uncles!  And had a blast.  Everytime I go to Ohio it's always a fun, fun time.  I love being with my in-laws and the rest of the Rufus/Krakora family. 

I'll leave you guys with some more pictures of the weekend!

Great Grandma Krakora and Linc

Love him

Cousins : )

Lincoln's 4 Months!

Lincoln had his 4 month birthday on 24 August 2011!  I seriously cannot believe my little nugget is already 4 months old!  Where did the time go??? He's had lot of firsts these past few months:

1.  Rolling Over (at 15 weeks)
2.  Smiling (At 10-12 weeks, I do not really remember) for real
3.  Having/holding a "conversation"
4.  Finding his feet
5.  Finding something else...
6.  Finding out that his fingers are about the most tasty snack in the world. 

I haven't started Lincoln on cereal yet...and I won't lie, I will not.  Come 5 or 6 months we will just go straight to veggies and fruits.  I just do not see the point of giving tastless cereal as a first food, but to each their own.  I'm actually really excited about him starting to eat!  I can't wait to make his baby food.  I went crazy and bought a bunch of Annabel Karmel baby food items!  It probably did not help that I got the entire collection of her baby making food books from my aunt as a shower gift.

But, I'm way off topic talking about food--Lincoln turning 4 months is what is important!  : )  Here are the collection of his 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th month pictures.  He's just too cute and so grown up--we just love him!

Lincoln's Birth

The week of 18-24 April was intense to say the least.  For those of you that were unaware (and I didn't tell many people anyway)  my blood pressure pre-pregnancy is fairly low.  So in the last month of my second trimester it started to slowly creep up--which was actually quite high for me.  I went to my 38th week appointment on Tuesday and was at a little over 1 cm and baby moving around like crazy.  I got a second appointment for Friday for another Fetal Stress Test (FST) and was told to call if I got any headaches or dizzy.  And here's my picture 38 week picture from Tuesday:

So, I went off along my merry way, thinking nothing of my appointment...well...I couldn't be more wrong!  Thursday I got the most horrible headache, went to Labor and Delivery and got another stress test.  My blood pressure was insane (for me at least) (138 over something) and I was puffed beyond belief.  I was hooked up to a monitor and got another FST.  The baby was fine but my blood pressure was up and down.  When it was finally back to normal I was sent home.  At the doctor's appointment the next day--actually, lack of a doctor's appointment--I was told to be prepared for an induction come Tuesday since my blood pressure could not make up it's mind. 

Well, that Sunday morning at 0130 I woke up to mild contractions and some other stuff.   Anyway, I went to bed and told Jack I was having contractions and all I got was a, "That's nice honey.  How about you go to sleep with those contractions..." And he rolled over and went back to sleep.  My contractions were pretty steady, about 5 minutes apart, and lasted about 30 to 50 seconds.   They were bearable until 0600 and then I wanted to go to the hospital.  We got, got checked and I was barely above a 2! Ahhh...so frustrating.  I didn't want to be hooked up to a monitor if that's all I was dilated to and we decided to go back home. 

Back home I danced and yoga positioned my labor away until 1400 (2:00 pm).  More stuff was passing through my system so back to the hospital we went!  Checked in, got checked out--I was at a 6, almost a 7!  Yay!  Well, they wanted to hook me up again...but I wanted to move around (I originally wanted a natural childbirth but we'll get to that).  Well, the baby was getting a little stressed in my belly so I couldn't move around like I planned.  And I decided I could not go through natural childbirth if I was not free to move and whatnot.  So, I tried to get an epidural.  The anesthesiologist stuck the catheter in, moved it around and I said "Get that s*** out of me (while huge tears rolled down my face)"  The anesthesiologist and I are were not friends.  So...on I labored!  I did get that Demoral...because it's hard being confined to a bed having contractions that you can feel and not being able to move.  But, I asked for the lowest dose possible and I hated it!  Oh, dear goodness.  I was seeing Windmills stars falling down in delivery room!! That was crazy stuff.  Anyway, I was about to be at an 8...the medicine was wearing off and the nurse asked if I wanted more.  "No!"  All the nurses thought I was insane (except for the older nurse that had all her babies natural).  Anyway,  they broke my water and on I went to breathe through my contractions. 

Let me say this, Jack was the most amazing labor coach.  In early labor he helped me move around and sway. Coached me through all my contractions and was just wonderful.  So thank you baby! 

Anyway, my contractions progressed more quickly...and suddenly I was at a 9! Woooo...it was about 6:00-ish.  And I wanted to push.  Bad.  Jack to call the nurse 3 times before she finally decided I could...and I pushed once--Lincoln crowned!  Doctor Crazy was called...ahhhh.  Don't get me started!  Anyway, once she finally got to the room I pushed again and little Lincoln arrived!   A perfect little baby and we couldn't believe he was ours!

At 1818 (6:18 pm) a baby boy weighing in at 4 lbs 13 oz came into our world and just melted our hearts.  A little bundle of joy.  We stayed at the hospital longer than anticipated but the nurses were wonderful and so helpful and encouraging.  Here's a picture of poor little Linc in the jimmy or whatever it was called.  Anyway, poor Linc couldn't catch a break!  Low blood sugar and jaundice.  But, he's come out a strong little fighter!

Blogs...

So, I finally got on this "family blog" band-wagon.  Mainly because we have so much family scattered across the States.  And also because (as many of you all know) Jack is deployed.  This is an easy way to upload some of the many pictures I take of Linc.  Although I do have a photo blog dedicated to just photographs.  http://www.jakarlarufusfamily.shutterfly.com/.  I don't pick through those pictures, I just upload! Hah...so I'll be more selective on this blog--I promise! :)