OK, sorry, but I had to do it. Hopefully I won't get in trouble for using "Deplayments" because I have no idea if the word is trademarked or not. Let's pray that it's not. (There is a program in the AF using the word "Deplayment"
In all honesty, I have no idea how to start off this post. I don't want to come off sounding like a Debbie Downer while writting about a deployment. Yet, at some points, I probably will.
So, my deployment experience started back in December. 11 December 2010 to be exact. It was one of the most bittersweet days of my life. 1. It's my birthday, 2. My husband's UDM told me about the deployment. Not my husband. And my husband asked her not to tell me. (I was one of the secretaries in the Command Section last December). This was not the way for a 20-something week pregnant woman to find out something so big. So naturally, I cried at work. I called Jack and told him to come to my desk and I cried. I can't even tell you everything I felt in those 5 minutes. Sadness. Anxiety. Fear. Hopeless. Loneliness. And so much more. When you get told your husband/boyfriend/fiance is leaving for 6 (or a 12) month deployment outside the U.S.. Not something that gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling.
Fast forward a few months later: We found out that Jack had 3 different trainings he had to attend before he left. Also, these trainings had to be completed right before he left...not really spaced out. Did I mention Lincoln was due (not born) in May? Did I mention his original date for deployment was in the beginning of July? Well. More cause for a freak out (my part of course). What in the world was I going to do? The dates for the trainings fell on Lincoln's due date. My mind was racing. THANKFULLY, deployments sometimes get pushed back. And this one, well, it did! Jack was gone for a 1.5 before actually leaving. Did I survive? Yes. Thankfully because of my mom and my mother-in-law. Having a newborn and being by yourself is scary and a bit overwhelming. But I was so thankful for the support from family and friends. I could not have done it with out them. Not at all.
And suddenly, it's D-Day. Really? It's here already? Wow. August came too quickly. Every night I made Jack promise me he would be safe. I know it's not something he could have truly promised but it made me feel better to hear him say it back to me. That last night was one of the most sad and touching experiences ever. Jack and I spent the morning together. We got breakfast tacos. Watched a movie and talked. We got Lincoln from the CDC, walked the dogs and had a nice peaceful day. We fed Lincoln, gave him a bath, and Jack started reading him a book. We both broke down at that point (It's still hard for me to think about it now). We went to bed and woke up at around 3 am the next day. We drove to the building where the taxi was waiting. I kept it together until it was time for him to leave. He gave Lincoln a hug and a kiss, went off to give everyone else a hug or a handshake goodbye and saved me for last. I started crying immediately. I can't even tell you what Jack told me while we were hugging. I was a wreck at that point. I'm pretty sure Sandra took hold of me when Jack walked away because all I remember was stretching my arm out to him as he walked towards the cab.
I didn't cry long after the cab left. Mainly because Aisha and Sandra were cracking jokes to make me laugh. Sandra drove with me back to the house, Aisha followed closely behind. They made sure I was settled in and I fed Lincoln (who was slept through everything) and put him back down. Aisha stayed the night to make sure I was okay and didn't need anything and I was told to take the day off and take Lincoln to the CDC after I woke up. That first day is still a blur. I didn't get out of my pajamas. I didn't brush my hair. But I promise I brushed my teeth. Aisha brought me lunch (she is such a saint and a great friend) and it was nice. The dogs could tell something was off and so could Lincoln. It was a rough 2 days. Thankfully my mom came for the rest of the week to help and keep me company.
I am so thankful for family. I have no idea what I would have done without my mom or Kathy. Such amazing women that well willing to come to Altus and help out for a week at a time. I am also thankful for friends that came to help out (Aisha, Liz, Kimvy and Michelle, JanRay and Odie) when I needed. I am also thankful I had so many events to look forward to the next few weeks. Labor Day, Sam and Jeff's wedding, and of course, Winesday.
Some days were really sad but each day I got stronger. Honestly. I was the type of person that couldn't stand being alone and that is something I had to face head-on these past 3 months. I was also the person that would leave items lying around everywhere and anywhere. I've changed. Everything has a place. Put it up when you're done and you won't have to deal with it later. Say what...? Apparently people grow during deployments. Which is a good thing. I rediscovered old hobbies (hello scrapbooking and running--well, that one didn't last long) and realized I can go to the grocery store with Lincoln all by myself and be okay. I also discovered that I have to love the dogs enough for two people. This one is hard and it's still a work in process (more on this later. Promise, promise). I learned to budget, spend less and save more. And did I mention that I learned how important friends are during this time? Friends are why Winesdays were created. Winesday is Wednesday. We drink wine, eat and talk. Perfect evening. In the end (or almost the end), I learned I can do this on my own but I don't want to. It is nice to have someone to talk to. To make dinner with. To laugh with. NowI do a lot of this with Lincoln and the dogs but I am the one creating their answers to my questions and they are the ones laughing at my jokes or crazy noises.
So see? Deployments are hard. But they are bearable. And get easier day by day. Also, I suggest taking a trip. Especially if you have a mini me (or mini Jack in our case). Now, I know this sounds crazy but I swear this gets you out of your comfort zone and give you a confidence you didn't know was there. When I travel with Lincoln, it's usually a piece of cake now.
And now, it's the end. Well nearly. Jack left 3 months early and I'm sooooooooooooooooooo happy about his. Once he gets back we get 2 WEEKS as a family together. Thank you AF! And he'll be able to take a considerable about of leave after the 2 weeks of R&R. As a first experience, it was a good one. It was not a full deployment but I can't really complain (but sometimes I'll send Jack an email saying I wish you were home now--and then he reminds me that we should be thankful we get him back 3 months early. Touche Jack. Touche.) And I'm glad he's almost home. So close I can almost reach out and squish him.
Get ready for the homecoming. It's gonna be a big event doll faces.
xxoo
kbr
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